


Until We Meet

by MissReylo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissReylo/pseuds/MissReylo
Summary: And this is how it happens. He doesn’t know. You try to think of an explanation. Maybe he’s just too busy right now. Or something like that.Because that is the Doctor and he’s the one who sent you the letters that gave you hope.You’re not letting him slip away now. You’re not going to spend the rest of your miserable life waiting for a hero to sweep you off your feet. It’s time to do something.Soon.You push open the door of the library and run in.





	Until We Meet

_...No matter what the world throws at you, Y/N L/N, you should never believe that you’re alone. Nobody’s ever really alone. The world is filled with people, people who want to help you, people who want to see you grow. And I’m one of them. Keep that in mind._  
_Until we meet,_  
_The Doctor_

You put the letter back in the special box. It’s filled with beautiful letters from the Doctor. You know that when you’ll finally meet him, when you will finally hear his voice, you’ll show him the box. To let him know that you had read every one of them, that you had cherished every word, every encouragement. You long for the day you’ll finally be able to tell him how much you love him and how his letters have changed you for the better.  
It’s getting dark outside. You click on the lights. Your apartment is lonely, cold. Not a home. Home... god, how you long for a home. A place of safety, where you wanted to return to.  
You close the box. “Until we meet, Doctor.”

* * *

The letters had started coming when you were just a little child. You had woken up and there on your night stand... a letter! While you yawned you had opened the letter, looking at the messy handwriting.  
Somehow you had managed to decipher it.

  
_My dearest Y/N,_  
_Let me introduce myself. You don’t know me and I suppose I don’t really know you. At least, not this you. My name is the Doctor. People always ask me the question. Doctor Who? The answer. Yes. You probably don’t understand and I don’t think I do._  
_I like speaking, or now writing, riddles. Maybe one day one of us will understand the answer. Maybe when you open your eyes again you will know._  
_You’re little and the world beneath your feet. You’re eating, you’re breathing, you’re learning, you’re brushing your teeth. You’re soaking up knowledge so in the future you’ll be able to go on adventures with me. You’ll stand next to me, by my side. You’ll see worlds and wonders. Destruction and heartbreak. Somehow you manage to keep your chin up._  
_I don’t know a lot about your childhood. Even if I knew, I wouldn’t be allowed to tell you much about it. I’m the keeper of Time, I’m supposed to be the good Time Lord who fixes the people who mess with time. You don’t know how much I want to mess with it right now._  
_I guess you’ll just have to be brave. I know you’re going to face a battle. I don’t know much more than that. Just know that you have a friend who is looking out for you, who is looking forward to seeing you._  
_Until we meet,_  
_The Doctor_

  
You hadn’t told anyone about the letter. It was your secret. His promise... of worlds and other amazing things. Of a friend. It made you feel cherished. Happy. So you hid the letter under your pillow, eagerly awaiting the next letter from The Doctor.

* * *

He’s kind. He’s a hero. He looks out for people. He’s the Doctor, the Doctor of humanity.  
That’s what she told him the morning before she closed her eyes. She said it with a smile, her eyes shining. A cup with an unknown beverage in her hand, her face bare. No make-up. No mask to hide behind.  
“It’s true!” she had said when he tried to argue. “Ooh, Doctor, remember when we first met? You saved everyone.”  
“I just don’t know...if I’m a good man, Y/N,” he said.  
“Does it matter?” she asked.

* * *

_My dearest Y/N,_  
_It does matter._  
_Until we meet,_  
_The Doctor_

* * *

The first time the Doctor met Y/N he was doing what he always did. Saving the world, running around, waving with a sonic screwdriver.  
A hero, that’s what people call him. He doesn’t know if it’s true, he once knew, but he has forgotten. Regeneration does that to you. Your memories are there, your core beliefs intact, you don’t change completely. But you have a new body and a new way to talk and a new way to think.  
Memories are fuzzy, with every regeneration it becomes harder to remember things. That’s what you get when you grow old. Even being a Time Lord doesn’t stop memory loss.  
But he does remember their smiles. The admiration. The faces of his companions are seared into his memory and he is sure that even a hundredth regeneration wouldn’t get them to fade away. Humans, they always smile so brightly when it ends happy. When he saves the day.  
Their eyes, shining. Sometimes from tears. Their excited words echo through his mind.  
There hasn’t been anyone who has looked at him like that for a long time now. He doesn’t think there ever will be someone again.  
But that’s when she comes in.

* * *

_My dearest Y/N,_  
_Your birthday! How exciting! Another year. You’re getting older, but you’re not even getting close to my age. You never will._  
_My hand aches. For you it’s years, for me it’s two days. I can write very fast. I hope you can read this. My handwriting is getting worse with every minute. I worry too much. About you._  
_I can almost hear your voice, Y/N, my confidante, my right hand, my everything. Don’t you worry, Doctor. It’s not worth it._  
_But it is worth it. You are worth it, Y/N. I hope you realize that. I hope you know that during the good and the bad moments. You are brilliant. The way you move, the way you think. So I can’t help sitting here, writing you letters to keep you safe. Letters to let you know I’m here and I will always be. I can’t do much more than that. I could remember, I could revisit old memories._  
_Memories, they are wonderfully strange. The same memory can make you feel happy at one moment and can make you cry or rage at a later moment. It all depends on when and what we know. The memory doesn’t change, but the way we look does._  
_Until we meet,_  
_The Doctor_

* * *

She’s there and she tugged on his sleeve, her eyes too big for her head.  
“Doctor,” she had said, excited, “Doctor, it’s you.”  
He turned to her and he forgot that he has to get everybody out and away so he can face the alien alone. He forgot the crying woman in front of him with her child or the screaming man.  
“Yes?” he asked.  
“It’s me,” she said, “Y/N L/N.”  
“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Miss L/N. Right now, you need to get out of here.”

* * *

_My dearest Y/N,_  
_Soon._  
_Until we meet,_  
_The Doctor_

* * *

He writes and he delivers. A thousand letters from the sky. From a man in a blue box, a man who’s running, a cruel coward. A man who has never been more alone.  
He can’t tell Y/N she’s going to be all right. That he’s here. That he loves her, that she doesn’t have to be scared. She has no reason to be scared when he’s there. He will do anything to protect her.  
But she’s in a coma in the TARDIS’ sickbay. Her skin is pale, her eyes are closed and the terrified part of his mind wonders if her eyes will be closed forever.  
It’s his fault. He’s reckless, he knows that. But he pulled Y/N along with him, not thinking straight. And now she’s hurt. Injured. All because her hero couldn’t protect her.

* * *

“But it’s me,” she almost yelled while he pulled her and some other strangers along. “Y/N! You said: ‘soon’ and you meant it!”  
“I have no idea who you are,” he said. He pushed her away and runs back inside.  
To do what he always does.  
Saving the world or running away?  
Who knows.  
He glanced back at her for a second. She looked broken. Rejected. He really has no idea who she was, then. He had never met this Y/N L/N. But she obviously knew him. Time travel, he decided when he started running faster. His future self messed up. Or somebody else. He didn’t have time to think about that, then. There are other things to do.

* * *

“Until we meet again, The Doctor,” he whispers while he finishes the last letter. Just one little word. Soon.  
The circle’s complete.  
He understood after he wrote the second letter.

* * *

“Soon,” you whisper to yourself.  
That’s the last letter. You haven’t received a new one from The Doctor. Something tells you you’ll never receive one again. Soon. Does that mean you will finally meet him?  
The explosion throws you on the cold hard floor, books flying from the shelves. People scream. Struggling to breathe you push yourself up, brushing some strands of hair away.  
“Get out!” a man yells. “You’re not safe here! Everybody needs to leave!”  
No shit, Sherlock, you think. Off course it’s not safe. Something just exploded in the library and you’re lucky that you’re not injured! You walk over to the next bookshelf and immediately duck when you see the woman.  
Is she even a woman?  
She looks like an alien from a science fiction film. Her skin colour, her scales. She looks around the library like she’s hunting. Looking for her next meal. You hold your breath. If she sees you...  
Someone screams and she turns around. With a strange jump in her walk she runs.  
She’s distracted.  
You’re not an idiot so you start running to the exit.  
More people are there, trying to pry open the doors. Kids, teenagers, old people. Two men are kicking against it, a woman is having a panic attack. Two teenagers are filming the chaos.  
You bump into a little girl who’s looking for her mother.  
That’s when you hear his voice. The voice of the man who yelled that everybody needed to get out.  
“Who the hell are you!?” one man yells.  
“I’m the Doctor, and I’m going to save all of you, and this world,” the man says.  
Your heart stops. You forget the little girl and you walk over to him. His back is to you, his grey curls look messy. His coat is slightly damaged. You grab his sleeve and tug.  
“Doctor,” you say, “Doctor, it’s you.”  
He turns around. He looks at you. He doesn’t recognize you. He studies you and you feel naked under his intense gaze. You don’t even hear the people around you, trying to escape. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go.  
Soon.  
“Yes?” he asks.  
“It’s me,” you try, “Y/N L/N.”  
He bites his lip. “Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Miss L/N. Right now, you need to get out of here.”  
Your heart breaks.

* * *

The Doctor puts his pen away. His hand hurts horribly, he’s tired. He looks over to the bed where Y/N is lying on. He reaches out and takes her soft hand in his calloused hands.  
“I’m sorry for then,” he whispers, “I didn’t know how much that hurt.”

* * *

He runs back, back into the library. He’s a hero, you think, he’s saving the world. He’s not here for you. He doesn’t even know you. He doesn’t remember the letters. The letters in the box at your apartment.  
All your life you were looking forward to this moment. To meeting him.  
Until we meet,  
The Doctor  
And this is how it happens. He doesn’t know. You try to think of an explanation. Maybe he’s just too busy right now. Or something like that.  
Because that is the Doctor and he’s the one who send you the letters that gave you hope.  
You’re not letting him slip away now. You’re not going to spend the rest of your miserable life waiting for a hero to sweep you off your feet. It’s time to do something.  
Soon.  
You push open the door of the library and run in.

* * *

I understand,” the Doctor whispers, “I love you, Y/N.”  
And suddenly, with a gasp...  
Y/N’s eyes open.


End file.
